13
May

Danielle’s Digest: Week of 5/8/16

[ssba]

We had a great, low-key Mother's Day and, as always, ate a lot of great food this week! I also traveled to New York and had a chance to get an inside peek at the Food Network Studios (click HERE to let me know if you would enjoy seeing a gluten-free and healthy foods show on TV!) and attend the Forbes Women's Summit.

2We were covering our boy with prayers (and tears) the night before his surgery to remove that big cyst above his lip. The thought of IVs and him going under anesthesia had me a wreck. ?

3We are so thankful for everyone's prayers and thoughts for our little man! It was a little more complicated than they expected but he (and I ?) did great. He was in a lot of pain and he had a little trouble breathing afterwards from the breathing tube, but he's been recovering well. It broke my heart to see all of the empty car seats in the waiting area. To those parents out there who do this often or spend weeks or months in NICUs to fight for your kids- you are heroes.

4I wrote these words during the holidays in a post about having the freedom to feel pain and suffering. This image someone sent me is such a beautiful representation.

After E's surgery, I was wading in pretty deep. It is nothing like our situation with Aila, but it brought a lot of painful memories to the surface.
Kissing him goodbye and handing him over to the nurses yesterday brought back vivid memories of saying my final goodbye to Aila and surrendering her to the nurse. They were so understanding and didn’t pressure me to part with her during the night. She kept saying, “she is your baby, you decide when to say goodbye.” But that willful act of calling the nurse on the intercom and physically relinquishing her body was the hardest moment of my life. Placing E in the care of the anesthesiologist and surgeon reminded me of that helpless feeling I felt when Aila was diagnosed and when she was born. That I could not do anything to help her or save her. And of course, as all parents do who have lost a child, I had fears about everything that could possibly happen to during the 3 hours we were apart and found myself thinking that I wouldn’t make it if I had to bury another child.
After he was home safe, I was lost in a mix of feeling eternally grateful that he was alive in my arms, and filled with sorrow that she is not. I could have chosen to ignore all of those feelings and busy myself with other things so as to not experience the pain.
But I have found that letting myself just feel and process it all helps me come out stronger on the other side. God always meets me in the depths of the sticky muddy water, and there’s a new thin layer of healing every time I step back out of the wading pool.
If you're grieving (be it the loss of a child, a parent, a friend, a divorce), don't be afraid to feel the grief. It's not pleasant, and you may look like a train wreck with black stained cheeks and bloodshot eyes afterwards, but it's cathartic and productive on the road to healing. And as I said last time- just don't get stuck in the grief. Wade, and wade in deep if you need to, but make sure to walk out on the other side. ?

5This is one of my favorite salads lately – my dairy-free ranch, spicy almonds, grilled chicken, avocado, cucumber, and carrots.

7My butt and arms were asleep and I was starving, but there was no way I was waking him up and he wouldn't let me put him down anyways. This was going on 3 hours… ???

8Here was my Mother's Day treat- Cashew milk ice cream with Guittard extra dark chocolate chips and almonds. I'm working on some cashew milk ice cream recipes and will get them up on the blog once I get the consistency perfect! 

9I enjoyed a perfect Mother's Day brunch with my little family. ? This was shirred eggs in ham with hollandaise. 

10Love this crew. ?
I'm grateful for all 3 of my kids and how they have shaped me, my mom for being such a great example of a loving mother, and Ryan for partnering with me so incredibly to raise these 2. I hope you all had a great Mother's Day!

11What I would have liked to do for Mother's Day- get brunch, take a nap, work in the yard, get a massage. But making my kids happy (and making him stop saying I'm bored what can we do?) makes me happy, so mini golf if it was!

12We had a late breakfast so I crumbled some Applegate organic chicken sausage to make a quick frittata with asparagus and mushrooms.

A__A__EA | A | E

14Baby E's rebuilding after a round of antibiotics from the surgery. He has been on these since he was a newborn since he was a C-section baby.
I hate antibiotics, because they always throw me into a flare, and we try to avoid whenever possible. But sometimes they are necessary! You can find it HERE.

16My friend Katherine who wrote Hope Heals sent me this pic of our books next to each other at Costco. If you haven't read her remarkable story and having hope through suffering, you must!
Her book is in select Southern CA Costco stores so if you live down there go grab it!

17Love this emerald Y necklace and the dainty layered one that has my kids birthstones on it from Leah Alexandra Jewelry ?

19Day 2 of the Forbes Women's Summit! I was snapping throughout the day, so make sure you follow me (againstallgrain) for next time. I was especially excited to hear Every Mother Counts, Christy Turlington, Kate Hudson, and Sarah Jessica Parker. 
Shop the Outfit Below!

20I absolutely love and respect the work that Every Mother Counts and the rest of this panel are doing to save the lives of babies and mothers in developing nations. If you haven't heard of them, check them out HERE.

My_new_book_is_27__off_if_you_preorder___link_in_profile____celebrationscookbook__httpamzn.to1s7Wdmi

My new book Celebrations is 27% off if you preorder on Amazon! Get yours HERE.